- What I could work on - How do you lead the conversation to get to a hook point? Many girls just leave too fast. - Maybe I'm too passive -> Keep asking them questions until you connect on something or I spark some emotion - Try to spark more emotion -> Be passionate, playful, deceitful, theatrical - How do you start conversations more casually where you're not hitting on them right away? I want to do this because if I don't click with a girl, I want to turn them into friends. [[Game - Actions to take]] [[Game - Field Reports]] # How to get learn game smarter and faster --- - Reflecting -> What went well? What could have been better? What do I need to change? - The overall feeling of how I felt like I was doing & the reactions I got from people when opening -> How do I make people feel? - Only this once you're at home so you stay in flow - But if the past 30-mins to an hour has been going shit, do a 5 second quick assessment -> What can I do to make this better? (Estimate, take a deep breath & then take action) - WRITE DOWN a field report - What did I do well? - What did I do not so well? - What shall I do better next time? - Record your sets - Write game reminders on your hand before going out - Ex: Slow down :) - Observe people & ask yourself questions about them - Then create your own lessons - Tell these to yourself - Is the night EPIC yet? Then make it! - One more approach! Just one more! - Resistance means I gotta do it. # Frames --- Repeat frames in your head. To improve quickly, turn sticking points into positive frames. - Ex: Problem with staying in sets -> I love staying in sets as long as possible, it's a nice challenge When approaching a hot girl: - She's just a girl who wants to be loved - I can make her day - I'm a cool person - I'm just as much as a human being as she is - She could love talking to me - I'm not perfect but neither is she. Game frame: - I don't care what people think of me - I am the master of my life - I know what is best for me - I love maintaining eye contact, it makes me feel alive Personal frame: - 5 no-go's for girls: boring, flaky, princess-y, rude to others, pompous, stifled - I am attractive because: - I make conversation enjoyable -> Good listener, I bring interesting topics, I give people hooks to talk about, I'm funny - I create experiences and take leadership. I make it easy for people to have a fun time. - I'm kind. I care about others. - I'm ambitious and building cool things. - I have a unique and interesting life. I have many cool stories to share. - I'm good looking. I have a sexy body. I carry myself with self-respect. I am grounded. - I'm expressive. I love life. - I'm committed and serious about relationships. - I'm a great dancer. - I have interesting hobbies and interests. - I'm intellectual and curious. I'm open minded. My own frames: - Fuck yeah, ME. - Repeat this in your head. - There is no pressure. Life is just a game. - Fuck the mistakes, keep going. - I'm not bothering people. I'm making their day. - I don't need anything. I'm giving. - Start complimenting strangers to practice this. - I live life to the max. I'm ballsy. - Make it EPIC. - I'm here to have fun. - I do this to practice. - I'm conscious. - I enjoy rejection because it helps me grow and learn to get better. - I enjoy hitting on girls because I get instant feedback into what's working and what's not. - I'm not perfect, but I'm pretty damn good. - Talking to strangers is normal. Hitting on girls in public is normal. - Yes, I am opening you. Get over it. - You're allowed to do whatever you want. You're allowed to say whatever you want. You're allowed to leave people whenever you want, with no reason (let them be confused). You're allowed to invite strangers in your conversation. You're allowed to kick people out of the conversation. You're allowed to jokingly take people's stuff, like open their purse and say "ouu let's see what you have in your purse". You're allowed to high five strangers. You're allowed to jump, to crouch, to hop, to act weird. [[Daily Mantra]] # Phrases to use: ---- - If you were a little bit taller, I would definitely make out with you. - You guys are funny. (Girl: oh thank you) Except for you. - I love girls with XYZ - (Subtly share cool things about your life, then say, "anyway..." and change the topic) - If the girl asks a stupid question like "Why do you wanna hangout with me", answer with something non sensical while holding strong eye contact: - Because the sky is blue. - Cause I'm funny and sweet. (smirk) - Cause I'm cool. (You sure?) Yeah - If you did something she didn't like, answer with something non sensical: - Oh sorry, I'm Romanian. - Stop looking at my lips. Be respectful. If you want to kiss me, just tell me. - Neg: You don't look like you're a X type of person. - You're cute and short, I like it. - Let's go on an adventure. (Give elbow for her to hold on to you) # How to feel good enough: --- - Get rid of any questions in your head that ask "Am I good enough?" - Replace it with "Why the fuck not?" - Self-confidence is self-awareness - Be aware of who you are. Be aware of what you want. = No need for external validation. - There's nothing more attractive than a guy who goes his way, who aims for their goal. The girl should be priority #2. - True self-confidence = being aware that no matter what happens, I'll be fine - Failures won't kill me - Lower her standards -> She doesn't want the try-hard. She just wants the authentic normal guy who won't piss his pants talking to her. - If you try hard, she's going to feel it and you'll be sub communicating that talking to hot girls is not something you're comfortable with. Being a try hard is beta male behavior. - Think "she's just one hot girl out of many" -> abundance mindset - Girls never fuck you because of your game, they will fuck you because of you. - You don't need to do anything special. - Assume she's into you. If she's still there, she's into you. - The bar for guys is low. You're in the top 1%. - Focus on being, not on doing. - Male energy = Striving & penetrating - Your purpose as a man is to give love. Your passion, your art, your work. - Stick to this & be calm regardless of how much bullshit is throw at you. - Embrace chaos and failure. # How to be an Alpha male --- - Stay on your purpose & path - Don't succumb to all of her needs. Don't cater to what she wants. Don't hold their purse. Don't move for her. Don't change too much of your life for her. - Pass shit tests: - Jealousy -> Don't be scared of the other guys being better than you. Don't be afraid of competition. Know your worth. - If she brings up a guy, look into her eyes and talk about how amazing he is. Then change the topic. - I'm not sure about my feelings for you -> Are you man enough to not get shaken by this comment. - Empathize with her. Then leave to do cool shit. - Either X or me. The ultimatum. Usually given by low self-esteem girls. Sub communicates that she wants me to stay this way. - Listen carefully, make eye contact, smile at her, hug her, and tell her the most attractive word to a girl: "No" - You're a player. Translation -> I love how attractive you are. - Don't apologize. Be funny -> I beg your pardon, I'm a virgin! - Be truthful and tell her how much you care about her. How much you respect her. Tell her how she can leave anytime. - You say that to all the girls. - Humor: You're number 74. - You just want to fuck me. -> Translation: She does too, but she wants to make sure I won't judge her. - Of course I wanna fuck you, you're amazing. Then change the topic. - Girl freezes out, goes to the bathroom ("wait here for me"). - Escort her to the bathroom, then talk to other people in the general area. Then introduce her to your new friends. - If she doesn't respond to texts. - Don't give a shit. Don't ask a question. Send her a meme or funny story instead (if she doesn't reply, it's not a rejection). - She shows up late. - Don't start texting. Don't be butthurt. - If waiting, approach another girl or call a friend (and make a joke about her). - She dumps her problems on you. - Don't go therapy mode. Don't solve her problem (she doesn't want a solution). - If new relationship: empathize with her, hug her, change the topic. - Real comfort tests -> When she's interested but is a little bit intimidated by you. - Answer honestly -> Start with "Can I be honest with you?" # How girls work --- Girls love emotions & drama. Ways to increase their emotions in a healthy way: - Roleplaying - Neg them Hot girls - They're overwhelmed with boredom - Every guy focuses on attraction (showing off) instead of arousal - Gets a lot of basic compliments. Instead, give her specific unique compliments. - Guys put her on a pedestal. Nobody is relaxed or goofy, and take everything too seriously. They try not to lose. They try to have a perfect conversation. Trying to be James Bond. - Guys give no challenge to her. They don't make her work for it. - They're overwhelmed with validation - Experiences the Halo effect / Deification, where guys assume that she's perfect. - Deep down, she's a silly little girl who just wants to be retarded and dumb and be silly. - She wants to be loved for who she is, not for the looks. - She's afraid of getting hurt -> "Who actually loves me" - She's afraid of hurting her perfect image, because she enjoys being seen as a goddess. - Deification = Act of making someone into a god or treating them as divine. - I've experienced it when I did my workshops and people treated me like a celebrity. - I do this to people like Julien Blanc. - Hot girl blasé = When they don't give you much so that they don't seem too easy. They're also doing it to test you and see if you're an alpha male. - They're seeking relatability - Hot girls feel isolated - Her ugly friends hate her a bit - Massive competition between hot girls (scanning other girls) - They have a lot of options but not many "good" options - How to stand out: - Don't be try-hard. Arousal > Attraction. Don't try to impress her. - Stick in the set (she takes more time to open up) - Don't take her too seriously - Don't take yourself too seriously - Don't take the interaction too seriously - Don't drop the fun. Be lighthearted. Make up characters and use funny voices in stories. - Don't her see as a "9" or a "10" - I only care about "minimum" level of attraction anyway. The values & personality matter more. - Forget about being "extra cool" or putting on your "A game" - Assume you're equal value, not lower, not higher. - See the little girl inside. - Challenge her -> She needs to convince me she's cool - Only do something physical when she deserves it. Ex: When you find something cool about her. - Think "She's just a little girl. She shaved her armpits. She takes big dumps. She pukes. She gets sloppy drunk. She binged on food. She binges on her phone. She makes mistakes. She fails at achieving her goals." Red flags in girls: - Low self-esteem - Seeking validation. Chasing me when I don't give her validation. - Compliments are a big deal for her - Manipulation (If you do X, then I give you Y) - Withdrawing sex Green flags: - Healthy long-term relationships # Attraction vs Arousal --- Attraction (not that important) - Gets you the attention of girl but it doesn't lead to sex (arousal does) - Increase it with: - Social proof (girls around you, friends with everyone) - Good mood Arousal (key point in game) - Shown by subtle signs -> Ex: Skip in the step, smiles - What beta males do wrong: - Early exit - Escalating too quickly - It takes time to build up - Steps to arousals - Take the pressure of yourself -> Fuck Faith Frame - If you put a female dog and a male dog in the same place, they will have sex eventually. Same thing happens with humans. - There will be sex at some point. Just lean back and wait. - The more time I spend with a girl, the higher the chance that I will have sex with her. Time is on your side. - Helps takes the pressure of her. - The girls needs to feel comfortable with the situation. - Nothing creepy, everything safe, he's coherent. - Low pressure situation. - Spice up the interaction - I HATE this. I LOVE this. -> Be expressive and edgy - Physicality - Leading - Standing your ground in the face of her shit tests. - Storytelling -> Give yourself some coolness. Spike her emojis. Connect with her. - Biggest indicator of interest = She's still there - Important: Connection creates trust -> Best way: Talk about your feelings. - Show your soft side - Talk about your childhood - Give real answers - What she's looking for in a guy: Socially savvy, not weird, speaks coherently, confident, not too try hard, basic hygiene, doesn't see her as a treat, cool guy. - He's free, he does whatever he wants, he's expressive (edge zone instead of the awful middle), normal person # Approach Anxiety --- - It will never go away. - Learn how to accept it and still take action. - "Whatever state I find myself in, is just fine." - Your body is giving you anxiety because you're in a situation that matters. Your body is telling you "TAKE ACTION." - Reframe fear into excitement -> I LOVE IT. I feel ALIVE. - Other people don't give a shit about you. No one is going to say anything if you're approaching girls. You don't remember strangers. They don't remember you either. - Warmup: Start giving compliments to strangers as you're walking (don't wait for their response). - Prove to yourself that it's okay to talk to people and that they are your friend. - Prove to yourself that there is no threat. - Warmup: Golden phone call -> Call a friend & crack a bunch of jokes, so you can get in the zone of talking - Expect that the first few mins will be messy / awkward. Embrace it, it will get better. - Approach = Open + calibration - In that order. Don't assume anything about her or think about what might happen. Open and you'll see. - Just go and talk to the girl. - "The moment I said hi, I already won" - Everything else is a bonus - Read The Flinch - Every time you miss an opportunity, watch her walk away. Feel the anxiety and the bad feelings that you got from letting fear run your life. - Call out your fear. - Used missed opportunities as leverage. - Stop scanning for hotness -> If she's even remotely okay, just open her and decide later if you wanna keep talking to her or not. - Once I leave my house, open everyone. Say hi to the neighbor, talk to the people on the transit, talk to bouncer, talk to the people at the coat check, etc. - Important rule: Do the first set as soon as you enter the club. - "We're all here to have fun, we're all here to have a good time" - Resistance means I have to do it. - Instead of asking "How do I overcome approach anxiety?", ask "Why do I want to do it?" -> Because I want to be a man, to be ballsy, to be an inspiration for my kids, to have an EPIC life, to find a fantastic woman, and to build an awesome family. # How to approach --- First step - Opening: - Direct -> Make the compliment relevant and different. Ex: I love your style. I love the color of your scarf fits the color of your hair. I love the way you walk. I love the way to smile. - Better for day game because she's not expecting it. - Don't linger on compliments. Don't double down with another compliment or talk about the one you just gave. - Indirect - Anything the situation gives you. - Random question that you came up with -> Excuse me, do you like Donald Trump? Cause I've been wondering XYZ. - The weather, the club, the street, her drink, etc. - Anything about what she's wearing. Oh is that a Gucci purse? - Transitioning - Important: Link it to her. Make it relevant to her via cold reading. - Better for night game. - Strong eye contact + motioning to her that she should come here or giving her your hand to introduce yourself. Second step: Add a statement of empathy -> I know this is crazy. I know this is weird. Third step: Cold read -> Make an assumption about her, maybe based on the compliment you gave. "I bet you are X". "You seem like X". - Do it in a way that she has to agree. Opening phrases - Excuse me. (get her attention first) - Do you speak English? - Are you from (country)? - What are you up to? - I just wanted to say... I love you. - What is up bitches? - Anything that comes to your mind, no filter # How to become a social person --- - Most important rule = Start talking to people - Don't see pick up as a chore - Keep positive frames - Remember all the cool people you met by talking to strangers - The Italy guy on the bus to Turin who was into personal development. The girl who I flirted with on the train to Cascais. The guy in Geneva who invited me to a club. The two Brazil gay guys in Rome. That guy who drove me to Julien's event. The guy I met at Julien's event, then did comfort zone challenges with the next day in Milan. - The world is easy, stay at ease. - Whatever happens, I'll be okay with. I'm confident either way. - Talk to strangers as much as possible: - Make observations. - I like that shirt, it's a good one. - Nice jacket. Very edgy. - That's a cool book. The fact that you're reading it is pretty cool. - Holy shit, you're reading THAT book. - Nice style! - Don't be too apologetic - Goal: Talk to 1 person a day. - This should be intrinsic to your life. # Natural Verbal Game --- - It's not about what you say, it's how you say it. - Paint pictures in their head. -> How did it look? - Write songs in their head. -> How did it sound? - Talk about your feelings. -> How did it make me feel? - Talk about your passions. (It's okay to steer the convo towards them -> Hey, have you ever done X? OR What's your passion btw?) - Psychedelics - Startups / business / AI - Software tools - Education - Health - Festivals - Travelling - Board games - No filters - You have filters because you want to *get* somewhere. You wanna get the numbers, get good reactions, etc. -> Fuck that, drop this - Filters = having an agenda, not being free - Having no filters is the ultimate freedom. All you have to do choose it. - Chain of association / free association - Pick one of the words the person said (or what you just said) and say anything that comes to mind - Practice this every day when you're waiting for something - Game the glass for 4 mins to practice - Be ADHD & retarded - "Do you know that song?" - "fk my feet hurt" - Brag in a super subtle way through storytelling. Mention it as a side note. - Use trigger words, that carry a lot of energy and emotionally spike them - Freedom, love, climax, orgasm, control - Pauses - Makes sentences impactful - Intonation -> Be careful of uptalk. Speak down instead. - Volume - Don't give people a choice to listen to you or not -> Be the loudest person in the group so they HAVE to listen to you - Let strangers hear you, you're not doing anything wrong - Being loud means being clear with your intentions (eliminates creepiness) -> Yes I am opening you, get over it. Hi, my name is Dragos. - Speed -> Talk slow - My own advice: - Follow a chain of conversation at the beginning, so you don't derail into weird topics. - Conversation chain: - # Body language --- - Take the pressure off yourself -> Good body language - Body language sets your state - Eye contact - Says: Yes, I'm approaching you. Or even funnier, fuck yeah, ME. - Communicates honesty. - Communicates standing your ground. - If girl says something cool, lean towards her. If something meh, lean away. - In an open space, square up with her straight on. - Whenever you're walking with her, always be 1-2 steps ahead of her. - Hands out of your pockets. Creates safety. - Always be in a position of advantage -> Lean back on the wall - Move her if you need to. # Physicality --- - It's one thing and one thing only: Calibration - Use physicality to "ping" - Different responses - Yes -> Stack it up, be more physical, push it even further until you get a no. - No -> Stop, take a physical step back, statement of empathy, stay in a good mood, change the topic - Neutral -> Tone it back, try again later. - If you can calibrate and still be fun, it shows massive confidence. If you build this skill, it also takes away any fear of being physical. - Trust your gut feeling. - Ideas: - Bump them on their arm - Hand on her shoulder - Side hug - Spin her around - Put her hand on your chest - Hold her hand - Kiss -> Hold her neck / lower jaw and pull her towards you - Be physical with everyone -> Practice it regularly - How to go for the kiss - "If I were to kiss you right now, would you stop me?" # How girls show they're interested --- - Biggest IOI = She's still there - That's all you need - She won't tell you -> the signs are extremely subtle - In general, don't focus on the content of what the girls says. - Subtle signs - Looking at you a lot - She looks at your lips - She magically ends up next to you - Gives an excuse to talk to you - Touches her hair - Perking her chest - Eye contact - If she crosses her legs during day game - Some girls are shy and don't show much indicator of interest - Always assume she likes you - Solution: Ping her with physicality # How to deal with rejection --- - Show yourself that nothing bad happens when you get rejected - Look at your hands, look at yourself in the mirror, feel your face, feel your balls. They're all still there. - You're still a man. - You will always have to deal with it. You can only change your perception of it. - Use it to self-amuse. Tell yourself you suck. - Tell her "Call me!" - Tell strangers nearby, "oh she's definitely going to call me" - Rejection is good for you, it means you're making progress. Rejection destroys your ego, and once you do that, you're free. - True confidence comes from losing and getting back up again. It comes from a feeling that you're invincible. No matter what happens, you will be good to go. - Knowing who you are, your weaknesses, and being okay with them. - Action: Make rejection the goal, to see it's not that bad. - When they reject you, keep it light hearted and chat fit a bit more so you seem butthurt. # First impressions --- - 3 rules of intensity -> Emanates confidence - Squaring up - If she's at the bar, talk from your side - Eye contact - Keep it regardless of what happens, even in a crowded night club - Vocal projection - Sub communicates that you're not apologetic - Confident men - Know what they want - They keep eye contact & knows who he is (self-aware) - They're not apologetic - Speaks loudly and clearly # Number closing --- - Instead of saying "getting her number", do "exchanged numbers". - Focus on pulling, not getting numbers. - Inquire about her situation - Ex: What train stop is she stopping? - Ask, "what are you up to btw?" - If she has to leave, get her number. - Number close on a high note. Ex: When she's laughing. - If she's hesitant of giving her number, give her a statement of empathy. - "Oh I know this is crazy. We just met. Don't worry, I only stalk on Tuesdays." - "This is what we are going to do. I'll text you something funny. If you find me cute, then you can text me something funny. If not, and you think I'm too white or too short, you can just ignore me." - Qualify her when you give her your phone. - "Wait, what's my name?" (Doesn't know) "Should I give you another chance?" (yes) "Why?" (find a reason together) "Okay here's my phone" - Discretion - Don't exchange numbers in front of friends (they add pressure) - Isolate her somewhere first - If she says "I have a boyfriend" - This might be a test -> Don - "Don't worry, tell him I'm gay." "Oh yeah he can watch." - Don't ask for the number -> "Let's exchange numbers" (And give her the phone, don't wait for a response) - Make it a mutual thing - Text her right away - "Text me so I know how to spell your name" - "What should I save you under?" -> Call back humor - Tell me something funny that I could save you under. Make me smile. - ABC - Always be closing - Do it for every girl -> Trains you to make it natural # Texting --- - Goal: Get her back into the emotional state she was in when you met - Mention inside jokes / call back humor - First text = Low investment. If she doesn't respond, it's not a loss to you. - Don't ask for anything - Just "hey" - Make a joke - Send her a meme / gif - Text ideas: - Just bought a postcard for my grandma... had me thinking about you ;) - Let's hangout at 7pm (but only if you're not going to fall asleep 😛) - "Can we change it to 8pm?" -> Well only if you do my dishes - If you bring strawberries, you may join (but only if you're nice) - We would never get along then - Send her a naked photo of her that you took when she was over - Ballsier methods - Audio note - Video of you being authentic / doing something cool - Call her twice (even better if you just received a text from her -> more likely to respond) - Smile on the phone. - Call people when you're doing cool stuff, so they can hear it in the back and you also have something high value to talk about. - Call script: - Hey, it's Dragos. What's up? (stay silent and wait for an answer and a "what's up" from her) - The funniest thing just happened... (share a story, spike her emotions). - So anyway, what are doing later? When are you done? - Great. You know what, I'm really concerned about you. (why) - Your voice sounds so stressed. You need a drink. But not any just any drink. I mean a magic drink. Have you ever been to Narnia? I have a friend who works there. - Just kidding. We should grab drinks. I'll pick you up at 10. - (Oh I don't know) -> Do or do not, there is no try. - Great, I'll see you later. Oh by the way, wear something cute so we can match. - Apocalypse call - Be really persistent. Push for a date. Be super bossy. Don't take no for an answer. - Let's hang out, ("why?") -> Because I'm funny and sweet. - If "I don't know" -> Don't worry, it'll be worth it. I'm rich btw. - If she responds, put her in a good mood, then go directly for the date. - What are you doing later? - Let's meet after that. - Try to always ask her out on a high note, when she has good emotions. - Your investment should be less or equal to her. - Match her text length. - Mimic her style -> Ex: lots of emojis - Wait the same amount of time to respond. - Statements > Questions - Leave the "?" out in questions - What to say - What _cool_ things are you up to? -> Qualifies herself - Nurturing girls - After good interactions / dates -> Write down what they care about and what they're background is. - Ping them once a week with something relevant to them. - You can also copy paste the same low investment message. - You can also like their posts. # Beginner tricks --- - Remember her name & say it a lot - When she tells you her name, tell her what it reminds you of. - When you enter the bar, don't look around for 10-20 mins. - Start talking and dancing in the middle of the club. The girls will come to you. - Scan the club by: - Moving your entire body towards different angles. Pretend you're dancing and look around subtly. - Talk to your wingman and move slowly in a circle. - Do a cold read # Vibing --- - Arousal > Attraction - If the girls feels uncomfortable, give her a statement of empathy. - Your goal is to have much fun as possible. This state will transfer to the girl. - You need to have a balance of flatline talk and emotional spikes. - If you're getting bored, you've been having too much flatline talk and you need to spike it up. - If it looks like she's not sure about you or she thinks you're too good to be true, you need more flatline talk to become more relatable. - Ex: she says "Are you drunk?" - Whenever she asks you a question, always give a fake funny answer first then a real one. It's an easy spike. - "How old you are you?" -> I'm 12 - Negatives spikes - Don't over do it. - Make it subtle. As if it's you don't know you said something negatives. As if you're a naive kid. - Ex: "what do you do? are you a waitress?" -> Positive tone but negative connotation (low status job) -> Shoves her in her head, especially good for girls who look rich - Important: Look at her when you spike. - Calibrate in case she gets pissed off. - Do a statement of empathy -> "Sorry that was dick move" - Taking too far and being able to calibrate is ideal. It's okay if you push too much once in a while. - If the girl is attracted to you, she'll try to shove you in your head. - Don't let her. Don't react. - If she hits on someone else to test you, do the same thing. Hit on another girl as well. - If she is treating you like a beta male, like "aww that's so sweet" or calling you "little boy", be more dominant and say things "fuck you. who are you?" - Assumptions - Use stereotypes. - "I bet you're the type of girl who does X" - Can be said after she answers a question. Ex: "I go to the gym" -> I bet you're the type who only does ass workouts. - Assume the opposite of how she comes across, so she gets in her head and thinks "what is it about me that gives off the vibe" - If looking nerdy -> "Oh, you're probably such a party girl" - If looking rich -> "You probably work as a waitress" - If looking educated -> "Oh cool you go to community college?" - It's totally fine to change topics without any transition. Just ask the question you want. - Sexualization topics - Ask her about her preferences in men. - If nothing, look her up and down and make an assumption -> "You look like you like the bad guys." - Then look around for guys who fit her preference but are actually ugly. Then tell her "oh like that guy?" -> Negative spike - This lets you transition to sexual things like "Oh I bet you like it hard and heavy" - Assume she's being sexual with you, even when she's not. - "Where you from?" -> Woah woah woah not so fast, I barely know you - Hey, don't check me out. - Hey, my eyes are up here. - Girls need time to warm up to sex -> Buying temperature - The later the night, the higher the temperate because others guys have warmed her up for you. # When she doesn't want to talk to you --- - Firewall response -> It's normal for her to be cold. Expect it. - She's also testing you to see how confident you actually are. -> Stay persistent, keep eye contact. - If she's unsure about you -> statement of empathy: "Don't worry, I'm not crazy" - Stay persistent = - 100% -> Get her attention: Excuse me, just 2 seconds - Fun -> Smile when you talk - Statement of empathy -> "I know I'm short. I know I'm white. Don't worry, I tan well. I turn black in the summer. I'm not a nerd, I swear. I'm not trying to sell you anything. I know you hate me. I know you only talk to the rich good lookin guys. I know you're probably busy. Just wanted to say hi, my name is Dragos." - When she gives you shit - Don't be apologetic. # How to deal with her friends --- - "We gotta go to the bathroom" -> Means it's not going well with her friends - Have a "we" frame -> They're also my friends - Right after opening, say "are these your friends?" and introduce yourself - While hitting on your girl, keep an eye out on the friends to see if they're going to cockblock. - If they look grumpy or have bad body language, ask them questions and bring them in the convo - When you see a girl by herself, - Ask her: Who are you here with? How many friends? Do they have funny names? - When her friends come: Introduce yourself right away and say "You must be Lisa and Jenny." - Then say "Are you also from X?", "I heard a lot of bad things about you," or something similar to show them that I've been in the convo for a long time. - After you befriend the friends, try to isolate your girl -> Let me know you the upstairs. - When you want to leave with your girl, - Go to the friends holding hands/elbows with your girl - "Hey friends, X and I are going to X place for 10 mins but I'll make sure to bring her back safe and sound." - Add something about safety: "Is your phone charged and on?" and exchange numbers with her friends -> "Text me whenever you need anything. If she's not back in 30 mins, call the cops. Here's my ID -> Take a picture." - Use the 'we decided' frame. Time constraint (10 mins). Safety. - If your girl needs to take the same cab with her friends, - Find an excuse to come with -> "No way, I live near there. Let's take the same cab together". -> Once you arrive, tell them that you're a gentleman and will walk your girl to her door. - "This is a rough neighborhood. I'll make sure you're safe." - If they're roommates, ask if you can charge your phone or use their bathroom. - Wait for the roommates to fall asleep or get creative -> Ask your girl to show you something at the balcony or ask her to walk you down to the lobby. # Natural State ---- - Any state I find myself in, is just fine. - Fully accept your state. - Girls don't like the perfect guy, they like the guy who's perfectly fine with himself. - At the beginning of the night and throughout, ask yourself "How am I feeling?" - Name the feelings. - Be aware and accept whatever you feel, - Then tell yourself "and that's just fine" - Ask yourself throughout the night "Am I learning something new tonight? Did I already say hi?" -> If yes, I'm already winning. - You will always come back with more than what you came with. - In-club meditation = Letting yourself be overwhelmed by every single stimulation. - Feel the bass. Listen to the music in detail. Slow down your breathing. Smell the sweat. Watch people. - This slows you down. - State = acceptance + whatever you enjoy - Playing air guitars - Roleplaying - Dancing - Talk about your passions - Make the night EPIC - The goal with state is to be indifferent to whatever you feel. - Allow yourself to feel better - If you do something that's out there, like playing air guitar, say a statement of empathy -> "Sorry I'm a nerd, if you think I'm weird, that's fine." - Your brain can only do one thing -> It can think or it can take action. - When you talk or take action, you can't be shoved in your head. # How to go for the kiss --- - You have beautiful lips. I feel like you're good kisser. (Her answer) I might have to find out. # Shit tests --- - How to pass shit tests -> Don't react. - The girl's thought: "If I give him shit, will it change his behavior?" - "Will he get apologetic, will get shoved in his head or will he proceed with what he was intending to do?" # Dates --- - Always have dates near your place - Always have simple low-pressure dates - Bring her into your world -> Do things you would do anyway - Clothes shopping -> Buy one thing and say 'let's go to my place, I have to drop this off' - Grocery shopping - Tell her to bring something such as 'a toy that best represents your childhood' - Lets you cold read her and it's a fun things to do - Ex: "looking forward to meeting you, btw bring a pen" - Ex: "btw bring some fruits" - Do activities / games, not just coffee or drinks - Ex: playing board games in the park - On the day of the date, say "I can't make it at 3pm, let's do 3:15pm" -> Easy way to see if she's actually coming - If she's late, start approaching girls or even a group of people and then introduce them to each other. - If she texts you that she'll be late, say "fine, but you gotta do my dishes later 😉" - Some physical things to do on the date: - While leading her, steer her shoulder in the right direction or take her hand. - Sit next to her. Always go first and choose a seat with your jacket. Let her sit in the other seat and then sit beside her. - If trying to have sex, don't do a make out. Go to your place first. - How to get her to your place - "I'm hungry, let's grab a snack at my place. Do you cook?" - "What? You haven't seen X movie? Dw I'll show you later" (then change topics) - Do a 'step back' before she does -> "but only if you promise to keep your hands off me / not steal anything from me / promise to be cool." - If she says "we're not having sex tonight", respond with humor 'woah relax, I'm a virgin' or 'yeah that's cool, we're not going to do anything that you're uncomfortable with' - When she gets to your place, give her a tour and so she feels comfortable. - For roommates, introduce them. If they're not there, tell her where they are so she knows he won't interrupt later on. - At your place - Let her show you her favorite song. Make her more comfortable. - Show her cool stuff -> Ex: Nerf guns - Escalation - Let her sit on your lap when you're showing her stuff on your laptop. - Say 'cuddle time!' and pull her towards you. - If making out, take her hand and put it on your abs. # One night stand --- - Warm up - Talk to people as soon you leave your house - Ask strangers where they're going to party tonight - Chat with the bouncer, coat check girls, stamp girl, etc. - Talk to the first girl you see - 'Hey what's up!' - Think 'it's possible that I have sex tonight' - It's not a big deal, everyone has sex. - Keep the 'we' frame -> I'm here to party, have a good time, and meet new people. - Mindset quadrangle - The moment I said hi, I already won. Everything else is a bonus. - By saying hi, you overcame your fear (rewiring your brain) and you learned something. - I move my feet faster than my brain can think. -> Bypasses the approach anxiety. - Forces yourself to be natural, be quick witted and say whatever that comes to mind. - Embrace the awkwardness of approaching. - Any state that I find myself in, is just fine. - Don't force yourself to change state. - Accept your current state. Ask yourself 'how do I feel?' - Girls don't like the perfect guy, they like the one who's perfectly fine with himself. - What can I do to make Dragos have a good time? If I'm not having fun, it's my fault. - Structure of the night - 3 parts of the night - 1: People coming in - Look at people and see how stifled they are - Talk to everyone, not just hot girls. Have a quick convo, then leave on a high note -> 'see you later'. - Do number close girls that you meet. "Let's hang out later, take my number down." - Push your own buttons. - Give fake answers - High five people - Air guitar - 2: Love is in the air -> People are more free - This is where you commit to a girl - Screen the girls -> Single, logistics - Ask them, "Are your married?" then say "Why not?" - Ask them "When was your last relationship?" - Logistics: - Who are you here with? If she's with her best friend / sister, abort mission. - Where are you staying? - What are you doing tomorrow? - 3: Embrace the chaos - Girls are horny and are confused - Be even more illogical in this part of the night - How to pull - No physicality, so she doesn't get scared -> Only hand holding - Walk ahead of her and keep it casual - Always think "I'm making their night better". You're not taking anything from them. - Baby step yourself. Don't think too far in advance. Think "you're the guy who came closest to having sex with her, even if you didn't." - If she says 'you just want to have sex', look her up and down and say 'I mean you're hot but there's lots of hot girls, I need a connection too' - Make-outs: - If you're not sure if she's into you, go for the make out. - If she wants to be kissed, then keep the make out for the pull. It reduces the slut defense and it puts her in her head. - Three stages to pulling - Decide - Commit - Baby step - Don't ask, just say 'let's go there' - Let's go to the bar. Let's go outside real quick. Let's grab some food. - Add time constrains -> Let's go there for 5 mins. - 4 components of pulling - Vibing -> Having fun - Being real - Her chasing -> Communicate to her "you're cool but I'm not sure about you." - Give her space -> Shut up when they invest. Let her talk. Be okay with uncomfortable silence, so she starts filling in the space. - Talk to other people, so she has to fight for your attention. - Make her work for it. - 'It just happened' frame. - Ex: Talk about your view from the apartment and sell it well. - Make it feel special for her. Make it seem like it was spontaneous for you too. - Inceptionizing the mindset -> 'I love how spontaneous you are' - Occupy her mind at all her times when pulling -> Keep her out of her head. Just talk nonstop and make sounds, even if it makes no sense. - Do the 'step back' before each transition. Ex: Let's grab a cab, but wait only if you're cool. - Lead her - Do the magic elbow move - Lead her hard, don't give her time to think - If she doesn't want to get into the cab / follow you: - If it's a real test, tell her it's okay and it will only take 10 mins. - If it's a shit test, say 'okay good night'. It makes her feel like she's losing the alpha male. - Make it seem like what they said is totally ridiculous. - Your place - Show her every room - Put music on right away (Keep your laptop in the living room) - Keep it slightly messy and say 'sorry it's so messy, I don't expect people over' # Working on your ego --- - Every night, start off with 0 expectations. Even if you've gotten better, don't expect that you'll do great. Just do whatever you can. - Be careful of getting into the trap of validation, of getting girls just for ego. - Don't judge other people, it's negative energy. - Don't count lays. Focus on having a good time and the girl. - Don't give yourself a 'game level'. - The enemy of mastery is 'good enough'. Always push your game to the next level. - Every interaction with a girl starts from 0. She doesn't know you're cool. # How to take someone not to your place --- Continue here # Julien's Advice --- - To do: - Try the exercises with Bogdan - Speak loudly and with enthusiasm -> Speak like people are cheering you on - If you feel bored, it's your fault. You decide your emotional state. - Generate good vibes at all times, even if the environment is giving you nothing. - You don't need to justify why you're talking to a girl. You're a man, you just want to talk to her. She knows you're hitting on her. - Practice speaking fast non-stop for 2 minutes, then keep increasing it up to 15 mins -> Gets you out of your head -> Lets you speak without filters